Saturday, 21 July 2012

The kind of blog post where brain vomit comes out :)

Brain vomit 1 - So today we went to look at a new house. We aren't looking to move but I'm one of those people who is always wondering if the grass is greener on the other side so when I saw that this house was up for sale and only needed some modernisation and it was within budget and had a great garden etc etc. Well when the agent said *some* modernisation she actually meant new roof as this one pours water in, new floorboards as the old ones have been ripped up by thieves looking for copper pipes which they found, dry rot, wet rot, completely new plumbing and wiring system needed, walls knocking down, 100's of skips to get rid of the vast amount of crap in the house, new plaster as this lot is damp - you get the picture but hey, it had double glazing and a lift (was a care home!) Anyway, if we had the money I would have taken it on like a shot but it would need about £100,000 spending on it to get it done and we can't afford it!

So I came home from there and spent the next hour looking online at other houses in our area that are for sale and getting depressed as we couldn't afford the ones I liked and then I thought 'WTF are you doing Lynsey' You live in a very nice, big, Victorian house which backs onto a park, where the girls have a room each and you have a studio and Matt has a study. Why are you looking for something else?? So I kind of had a kick up the arse moment then to appreciate what I've got!

My garden - the green railings in the back is where the park starts.

Brain vomit 2 - I'm thinking that this looking for other houses/locations to live etc is just apart of this feeling of restlessness I have been having recently. Not sure why and it's a feeling that has been steadily growing but I have no idea what to do about it other than stop looking at houses online! I have suffered with depression in the past (post-natal with both girls and then a bit afterwards too) and I don't want to get into that mindset again. Not sure (and I really don't think it is) if the restless feeling is gearing up to depression again but I don't really want to take the chance.

Brain vomit 3 - I need to spend less time on the internet and yes I do realise the irony of saying that while writing a blog post but...... While I was on the computer earlier (looking at houses) the girls were playing outside and asked if I would come and see their shop. A whole hour passed before I actually went out and then I came back in as I wanted to look at the last 25 pages of houses. That needs to stop happening quite as much. Tricky when you run two businesses that rely on the internet but I'm sure I can figure something out.

Brain vomit 4 - I need to say yes much more especially to the girls. At the moment I am always finding excuse for why they can't do this and can't do that so I am going to say yes more.

Brain vomit 5 - Is anyone else annoyed at the 'perfect' bloggers - the ones who have children dressed in handmade clothes being fed granola that was cooked in the oven that morning with things harvested from the garden which grows in front of their perfect home. And what is more annoying when they say 'oh I'm not perfect' and show you a room that is clean and tidy but has one shoe out of place and that is their messy. Maybe I should stop reading them but I can't - they are like bloggy heroin! Messy is the pile of wet bedding at the top of the stairs because your youngest wet the bed, the piles of clothes on the bedroom floor, the plates left in the front room from last night and the recycling piled into the corner because you can't be bothered to open the door to the cellar and put it in the boxes (don't judge me!)

Brain vomit 6 - whoa - just read this back and it's all a bit woe is me isn't it? It's not meant to be but I'm trying (badly) to articulate what is swooshing around in my brain at the moment.

Brain vomit 7 - I think my new motto may be 'Fuck It'


P.S. I have decided to have the summer off from blogging so I will see you again in September and yes, I know I said that a few months ago and promptly wrote a few more posts but I mean it this time :) Maybe my brain vomit will have straightened itself out by then and become proper thoughts and ideas!


Hannelore said...

Yeah, I get it. I feel like that too. Have a great summer!

Pookledo said...

re perfect bloggers. yes! A wholehearted yes!

A few of them made me feel depressed about my life that I actually deleted them from the blog reader despite all the lovely work they do.

Therese said...

time to stop and smell the flowers is well needed by the sound of your post. Your blog will always be here, your kids will love the time you give to them even if it's one day dedicated to just them, no computer!

veronica said...

have a lovely Summer with the girls, At last we have some Summer promised for Lancs. so get out in the sunshine. I think everyone is a bit down through lack of sunshine. Hear from you soon. Vera.

Jo @ life in lists said...

OMG the bloggers who say they aren't perfect KILL me. There is always like one basket of laundry (of handmade clothes) waiting to be put away and they say, "oh, I'm so terribly messy, look I'm not perfect." I sometimes say rude words at the computer, which helps (ps, which perfect bloggers are you thinking of? I can always use some more blog heroin...).

Sorry you're feeling a little blue, hope it resolves itself with a bit less time on the computer over the summer. The complete lack of sunshine over the past couple of months has had most people feeling under par, I reckon. Big hugs.

Daisie said...

oh dear me :(

Sending you a big hug and we're away next week but are here all summer if you fancy a change of scene? You can come and admire my mess!


Dolly Cool Clare said...

I hear where you are coming from Lynsey! I think you do a brilliant jobs of running your businesses, a household and raising a family! the 'perfect' life does not exist. The camera can totally lie...and often does! People only post the window on their world they want you to see, some people are more honest....I know which blogs I follow a lot more of! And I think we all spend too much time online (myself def included), more switch off time would be good for us all :)

Elaine said...

Hello Lynsey, after feeling somewhat 'lost in translation' a few years ago, a friend suggested a book called Froth on the Cappucino. It's a good read, I can't promise it will be the 'answer' to everything but it gave me a fresh way of looking at my life that I was missing out on at the time. Take care of you and yours.

moleymakes said...

Oh Lyndsey, I hear where you're coming from. I get very restless at times and as for mindless web surfing ... well, I have the same problem. Having to do work stuff online all the time, you just can't seem to help but get drawn in. I sometimes wish that I could just unplug the blooming thing.

As for perfect bloggers. Oh dear, don't even get me started. I can't stand them, but at the same time just have this weird fascination with them.

Enjoy your summer break. It looks like we've finally got our summer now :)

Ruby x

Tip Top said...

Heheh - you've seen the state of my house where EVERYTHING is out of place and the kids draw karting tracks in the dust on the tv stand... (its a shame to wipe it off!)

I think its the weather as been feeling a bit the same and just put it down to me needing a kick up the arse.

Brain vomit. Hmmm. Not heard that one before!

Everything else does always seem perfect when your normal happy perfect is a bit worn and faded.

If you need any buttons sorting you know where I am!

louisa @ TheReallyGoodLife said...

From the random house cravings (when I'm perfectly happy where we are) & mindless web surfing to the restlessness/depression worries and love/loathing of perfect bloggers, I could have written this blog post. The latter two things are why I've not been posting much lately either. I too need to adopt the new motto.

I hope a bit of a break and some summer sunshine makes us both feel more like ourselves again. Hope you have lots of fun days out - and equally fun days in - with your team!

Anonymous said...

I think you must be my twin :o> I with you on everything... looking for houses, mess, perfect bloggers, restlessness etc. etc. etc. Have a great summer :oD xx

s.z.elliott said...

I have always enjoyed reading your blog, i don't post very much anymore and have tried to get away from the computer for the bloggers you were referring to, well I know what you mean!!! My house is what I call 'lived in'. Your house sounds like mine, its busy when you have kids! plus we have lots of stuff!
Have a great summer, enjoy the kids, mine are now 11 and 12 and although I am a stay at home mum, I still don't know where the time has gone!!
Take care

clairep said...

Oh Lynsey! I know exactly what you mean. I've been lacking in something since the start of this crappy year.

Spending more time with your lovely girls sounds like the perfect summer to me! Enjoy it and I hope you find what you need to get back on track.

And sod all those 'perfect types'! ;)

syl said...

ROTF! So many of your thoughts are my thoughts. The perfect bloggers. The super mums. I'm not young nor am I a mum but those perfectionists can be irritating. Stop being so hard on yourself. I haven't read the other comments so I may be repeating something someone else has said. Don't fall into depression. I find something fun and free to do once a week. Go to a museum or free concert. That would be a good time for you and the girls to bond. Your yard is beautiful.Sometimes we see ehat others have and it makes us thankful for what we have. Just think, there's someone out there thinking about your house what you're thinking about the lovelies you see on the net. Like your blog and will read past entries until you come back in Sept.

Twiggy said...

I hope you sort out your brain vomit out but let me tell you missus, I relate to a lot of what you've written. My motto at the moment is oh for God sakes just feckin do it - I'll be moaning soon I've over committed myself :)
Have a fab Summer
Twiggy x
PS I worry about my depression coming back soon, so I'm chasing it off with busyness at the moment!!

Girl_Industries said...

I like your new motto, and I agreen with all your thoughts. I will be glad to see the back of this year (and it's only August), but just think, Autumn is coming and Autumn is the best time of year.

Stephanie said...

Favourite new blog! Love this, love all your thrifty find, will now spend far too long reading your older posts when I should be getting on with stuff! x

WendyCarole said...

I hate perfect bloggers and super mums too.

Our house was only meant to be temporary we have been here 16 years lol now and again I think it would be nice to move but I get over it.

Agree about internet time I spend far too long on here when I could be creating stuff.

Went in a brilliant charity shop in Sedburgh while on holiday and immediately thought of you. :)